The Game of Self-Confidence
Updated: Mar 8, 2021
It’s all around us: we read about it, we think about it, and we witness it.
We’ve all lived that moment of leaving a meeting and cringing thinking about who you were, how you acted, or what you said in that moment in time. We have a gift in these moments: it was only a moment, it is in the past, and it’s most likely forgotten by those in the room. So now let’s focus on the future and your next opportunity to show up with your full potential and your full package of talent.
Self-confidence is a determining factor of success. We know people who display it masterfully. It remains inconsistent and sometimes elusive for others. So, what’s the secret sauce to knowing how to show up the way we want to and how to manage our brain and body to realize self-confidence?
What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence is your feelings of optimism, self-worth, and belief in your abilities. Self-confidence includes being able to manage self-criticism and self-compassion.
Some say self-confidence is a state of self-belief. For many who want to perform at high levels, this self-belief can be an elusive goal due to a constant focus on learning and self-improvement. You may view your world or yourself as always needing improvement or to be better. Whatever your reason for not having consistent self-confidence, your mindset will get you through these wobbles in confidence.
How do you master the mindset of self-confidence?
Let’s draw from the sports world and visualize your next big meeting as game day.
Here’s what your coach would tell you:
• Do self-talk personal affirmations. Manage and dial down your self-critic
• Set and manage goals and objectives
• Assess and reassess who is on your team and who needs to be traded. Managing your success network is critical
• See failure as learning. Analyze setbacks and quickly jump back in to try again
• Prepare, train, and practice. Address your fears and establish what’s the worst thing that could happen. Repeat. Repeat again
• Play your game. Ignore competition and critics. Know your strengths and leverage them
• Focus on your long game
• Old habits are comfortable; new ones are not. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
• Self-confidence is the cornerstone of your performance. Find it. Know how to keep it in the game even when you are losing
• Your training plan should include managing your health: nutrition, movement, sleep and happiness
• Maintain your list of wins, successes, and accomplishments. Refer to this list regularly
• And finally, intentionally walk into that meeting, event, or situation. Adopt leadership presence that includes standing tall and strong body posture
Feel any easier? Likely not, this is a long list of things to think about and act on. For those who play golf, look at your work on self-confidence as you would your golf swing. Your golf swing is essential to a great golf game. There are many elements to your swing, and one little adjustment can make or break your game. When you learn golf, good instructors teach you the skills in increments.
Work on one thing at a time, practice it until you master it, and then move on to the next element. It’s not about one magical thing; it’s about creating a strong foundation that will withstand anything and then building upon it. Practice, practice, and more practice.
If you are learning, developing, and taking risks, your self-confidence will always be ebbing along with you and your changes. There’s a world around us and it’s always throwing us a new curve ball; in business, this could be the new owner, new boss, new transformation project, new strategies, new business objectives, new team, or pandemic.
Our world will consistently challenge our state of self-confidence. Managing self-confidence is a lifelong focus.
What’s the recurring theme in all of this?
A growth mindset, focus, action, practice, and a success network are the key to self-confidence. Building self-confidence is an ongoing process of self-awareness, positive thinking, and continuous improvement.
It is a tough game against yourself and a demanding professional world. Having an accurate assessment of your strengths, self-awareness, builds the foundation that will endure pressure and stress.
Knowing your foundation of strengths, or what you are self-confident about, will get you through many disruptions and many changes.
Want to work on increasing your self-knowledge and building self-confidence? Our Pivotal Leadership Diagnostics services will start moving you into action.
